The Call, she was too strong

I joined WeightWatchers online. After my sudden, shocking weight gain (153 pounds? From WHERE?) I felt the need to try something new. Thanks to WW, I have a completely new appreciation for vegetables. Either you eat them on the WW plan, or your stomach threatens to jump out of your body and beat you to death for not eating.

Things are going well despite the unholy stress spiral that is finals. I've finished two and I have one left, one that promises to bring me Glorious Death in the Trojan style (go watch 300 if you don't know what that is).

But I weighed myself this morning and I'm down to 146.8. That's the miracle that comes from working out to fend off stress while trying to save your weekly points for a weekend bender.

Stress-eating extravaganza!

Finals. Stress. German chocolate cake with cream cheese frosting. Need I say more?

Auditions!

I used to obsess over what, if any, workout DVDs I should buy. I hated the thought of buying a bad DVD. And then, I realized that every town in the U.S. has a handy way to try out new workouts: the public library.

I've tried yoga DVDs, Self DVDs, etc. Some have been great and I've gone on to purchase them, some of them have been...well, extremely odd. Recently, I tried Crunch's Yoga-Pilates "super slim down" DVD with Ellen Barret. I really like it, as I'm still recovering from some foot problems. It's a nice combination of yoga and pilates.

No wonder I like it so much!

I have a favorite drink, one that I fall back on whenever I'm out. I love amaretto sours. I find them tart and sweet and refreshing, and there's nothing better to have as a cocktail. I usually indulge when I've had a really hard day (like today) or when someone else is picking up the tab on a special occasion (rare).

When I came back to school from the happy hour, replete with satisfaction from having my favorite drink, I entered it on fitday.com. Well, I tried to anyway. But fitday only has info for a whiskey sour. I tried google, and got widely varying responses. But the sad fact is that an amaretto sour is loaded with calories. As with every drink, the calories vary depending on the bartender. I was sitting at a table, not watching the bartender, so I have no idea how he made it.

A little of my glow from having what I wanted is gone, but not all. I'll simply save the amaretto sours for special days, and from now on, I definitely will not be having more than one!

Spicing things up with circuits

Sometimes, I get bored with the same old, same old, so I'll start throwing strength and cardio workouts together in strange combinations. When I belonged to a real gym, I would do cardio circuits, too.

If you subscribe to Self or Fitness, they'll occasionally suggest doing one or two minute bursts of cardio in between the strength moves. It burns more calories, effectively turning your strength workout into a cardio workout, too. This time, I did 45 minutes of Taebo, but every 3 minutes I'd stop the tape and do a move from the Self Challenge strength workout for this month. It stretched my workout to a little over an hour, which meant that I kept my heart rate up for that long.

These are particularly fun to do outside with a friend or two. You can set up stations along a track: push-ups, crunches, lunges, etc. You run a 1/4, do an exercise, etc. Some people set them up as relays.

New incentive: workout gear!

A few summers ago, I dearly wanted a pair of retro-looking PE shorts from Athleta. Athleta isn't carrying them anymore, but I did find these from Hind. I've decided that they will be my reward once I've hit 143 pounds again. They're a bit of an incentive in themselves--any woman in her right mind would want her legs looking amazing in those!

What was old is new again

Dealing with an injury is no fun. Trying to crosstrain on a limited budget and a broken bike is also no fun. Finding your old TaeBo tapes in the closet and deciding to mix it up a little? Kinda fun. Fun that hurts a bit the next day.

I used to do TaeBo with my friends in college. It has been about 3 years since I've really used them--I used to be able to the advanced tape all the way through, go me!--and I only did 30 minutes of Advanced Tape 1 last night. But it was difficult, I sweated, and it was something different than using the exercise bike.

I really need to find a cheap way to replace my bike's tires. A friend of mine works for REI so I think I'll ask her for advice.

Time to go stretch out--every time I sit for more than 10 minutes, my muscles get a little bit more sore!

Habits

I find that a lot of people think, "I'll lose the weight, and then I can do..." They rarely acknowledge the fact that once you lose the weight, you have to keep it off. That means keeping up with a healthy diet and exercise. This is the main reason that "diets" like Jenny Craig or Atkins don't work for very long (unless you want to keep eating prepared frozen meals or a ridiculous amount of fat and meat).

I think that the answer is finding the things that you are willing and able to do for the rest of your life. While looking for ideas on how to finally manage to workout in the mornings, I found this article on how to add habits to your life. Some excerpts:

To create a new habit there a only a few steps and these are steps we all
possess the firepower to do.
1. You have to decide on what you want to be a habit. It is important that you be as specific as possible. A habit of drinking more water is problematic whereas a habit of drinking 6 glasses a day is easier to install.
2. You have to set up triggers to help you remember the action at the time you want to do it.
3. Once you have remembered you have to be able to motivate yourself to act.

Regression and progress

I'm ashamed to say that I hit a bit of a snag recently. I hurt my feet--damn you, plantar fasciitis--and found myself snacking on chocolate chips when I couldn't find anything else to assuage my chocolate cravings. Sigh. I took some time off the cardio but kept on doing some yoga and Self Challenge workouts just to keep from becoming solid blubber.

I did try a brand new recipe from Self, though, and it was a winner! The chicken confetti pasta salad from CookingLight was not so great and I will not be posting that. But the shrimp, pea and potato gnocchi from Self truly is fabulous. I think it's the simplicity of it, plus how the rosemary smells when you throw everything into the oil.

From Self via Scott Conant's New Italian Cooking
Makes 4 servings.
3/4 lb large shrimp (about 30 pieces), peeled and deveined
2 tbsp extra-virgin olive oil
2 tsp chopped fresh rosemary (I used dried)
1 tsp chopped fresh parsley (again, dried)
1/4 tsp red pepper flakes
1 clove garlic, finely chopped
3 cups frozen potato gnocchi (I used a box, all I could find)
1/4 cup fresh peas
1 tbsp thinly sliced green onion (forgot this but didn't make a difference)

Toss shrimp with 1 tbsp oil, rosemary, parsley, red pepper flakes, and garlic and refrigerate 3 hours (or if you're scatterbrained like me, 30 minutes)
Bring 8 cups well-salted water to a boil; add gnocchi. Drain when gnocchi float (about 5 minutes), reserving 1/4 cup liquid.
Combine remaining 1 tbsp oil with shrimp, peas and green onion in a large sauté pan over high heat; season with salt and pepper. Add gnocchi and pasta liquid and cook until shrimp are pink and just cooked through, about 5 minutes. Serve warm.

Nutritional analysis per serving 332 calories, 8.7 g fat (1.2 g saturated fat), 39.9 g carbohydrates, 23.8 g protein, 4.2 g fiber

I'm reading The Skinny: How to Fit into Your Little Black Dress Forever currently. It's too soon to write a real review, but I like the basic ideas. They're not telling me to eat a percentage of this or a percentage of that, which is GREAT. Basically, it seems to be about awareness, which is the heart of creating healthy habits.

Riding lawnmowers and maid service: another way to rack up excess pounds?

Oh, spring cleaning. It always has the power to make me vaguely ashamed that I didn't do a better job cleaning during, well, the entire rest of the year.

But emptying, cleaning, and reorganizing your closets, thoroughly scrubbing your sinks, and moving furniture to vacuum all the accumulated dust and pollen does have another benefit besides a sparkling home that smells faintly of bleach. It is a bit of a workout. This is why all women with overweight husbands should sell the riding lawnmower and make sure that their husband is out there, pushing that mower once a week. It's a chore--and it's good for the cardiovascular system.

Hits and misses

I enjoy trying new recipes. If I had my way, that's what I would do for a living. But since there's not a lot of positions available for a self-trained cook/recipe-tester, I guess I'll have to finish my ConLaw reading...

This weekend, I tried two different recipes: an Apple-Ginger Oat Bran muffin from an old issue of Fitness, and a black bean and couscous salad from CookingLight. The first recipe intrigued me: it called for nearly no fat. Fat binds baked goods together--and it does such a tasty job, particularly when you use butter. Mmm. This recipe called for 2% milk (which I didn't have) and extra light olive oil.

Frankly, even if I used 2% milk instead of nonfat, this muffin still would have tasted blah. It was soft, moist...but just lacked any sort of flavor. I've made other light muffins that end up with the same calorie count (around 150) that are much more flavorful. There's a Cran-apple muffin I'll post another time that is delicious. But these just didn't hit the spot.

The other recipe is good: perfect for packing in lunches, and it survived several ingredient swaps that happened because I just wasn't paying attention: "No rice vinegar? Uh...sure, I'll just use that white wine vinegar instead! Red bell peppers are $2 a piece!? Green will be just as tasty." I'm not going to run out and buy rice vinegar to make this again, though. It's good, but it's not one of those recipes that I can't wait to make again. Good things about this recipe: large serving size (2 cups), lots of fiber, easy and quick. Despite that, I'll be making my curry chicken pitas for the rest of the week--if I can just remember to cook the chicken tonight!

As part of spring cleaning, I have been going through my old issues of Self and Fitness, tearing out recipes. I have a gnocchi and shrimp dish I hope to make this weekend. Let's hope it turns out better than those muffins!

Emergency rooms, migraines and distractions all around

When life is going well, obstacles inevitably pop up. This week has been a failure as far as working out goes; I slept in every morning only to find my efforts to work out in the evening fruitless. First, I had to meet my roommate for grocery shopping. Then, a classmate and friend fell and hurt her ankle; there was no way I was going to have her take the bus to or from the ER! Then, today, my vision started to go crazy and I found myself in the midst of a migraine while in class. I spent the rest of the afternoon trying to sleep it off.

The good news? This is a speed bump. Next week will be better. I'm not going to abandon my goals just because of one bad week.

I have also found out that Ben & Jerry's lowfat version of Chocolate Fudge Brownie is extremely delicious, especially if you're sharing it with a friend.

If the way to hell is paved with good intentions, what about the road to health?

I think the answer to that one is patience. Patience and perseverance. Patience, perseverance, and surprise. Surprise and fear...wait, that's a Monty Python sketch!

I recorded a loss this week...and then I held my drink tickets for the Gala in my hand and thought, "Well, I need to get my money's worth, right?" Oops. So much for the low-calorie Diet Cokes I planned on imbibing. There's nothing worse for weight loss than alcohol, unless it is drinking lots of alcohol when you haven't had a proper, filling dinner.

And THEN someone mentions Tater Tots, the best drunk food ever. And you find yourself wondering who you have to beat up to get a plateful of Tots.

Yeah...this weekend didn't go so well. I had calorie-laden Long Islands, Tater Tots at 2am, and then a hangover brunch that involved chorizo and eggs. But I think I've relearned a valuable lesson--a lesson that I need to learn about once a year, apparently--about planning ahead. If I had thought to have a good meal before the party, if I had alternated alcohol with water, I would be much prouder of myself right now.

Beating myself up about this serves no purpose. Instead, I'm going to work on my homework and then go work out.

Stalling out

This last week has reinforced to me how important it is that I learn to wakeup earlier and work out. I slept in, then promised myself that I would work out later in the day. Of course, life intervened: finishing my reading and review took longer than expected, which meant arriving at home hungry and tired.

Today, I'm going to try and inspire myself a bit by cleaning and filing. Nothing makes things seem more possible than a clean slate--or clean room--to work with.

Finding healthy, easy-to-transport lunches

One of the keys to weight loss is avoiding unplanned meals, especially those in restaurants. Being a student living on loans, it's especially important to me to avoid spending money. I almost always bring my lunch to school.

My favorite lunch foods:

1. Any cold pasta or grain salad (i.e. Quinoa Caprese)
2. Sandwich fillings plus a pita half--I tried Curry Chicken Pitas recently and really liked them.
3. Apples, oranges, pears: I usually slice or peel these and put them in a plastic bag for easy snacking. You can avoid brown apples by putting some lemon juice on the apple slices.
4. Soup-at-hand: if they're on sale, they're only about a dollar--and very convenient. Just watch your sodium intake the rest of the day.
5. Leftovers from a healthy meal the night before.
6. Hummus and carrot sticks (or green pepper slices)

I'm always looking for new ideas. If you have any, be sure to comment!

Venti he go? Coffee secrets of a savvy Seattle girl

Someone told me that once you start living a healthier lifestyle, it's like noticing a new kind of car: suddenly, you see people doing unhealthy things (or that particular model of car) EVERYWHERE.

One of the first things I did back in the size 16 days was to switch to nonfat milk when ordering lattes and such. Not knowing much about calories, I took my best friend's word for it when she said that ordering a tall--not a grande--nonfat latte would save me some money and some pounds. She was right: Starbucks' nutrition site says that the difference between a tall whole and a tall nonfat latte is 80 calories.

And then, I looked at the whipped cream. I live in Seattle, and Starbucks is everywhere. Don't get me wrong, I love them. I love that you can go to a Starbucks in Kansas City (not the airport though, Starbucks doesn't run those) and get roughly the same quality of coffee as at the original store down by the market. I also like that they offer employees stock options and health care, but that's for a social responsibility sort of blog, not this one.

So, yes I love Starbucks. But sadly, you have to give up some things when you're trying to be healthy. I cut down to once a week: I went to Starbucks on Friday mornings to celebrate the weekend's arrival and had a tall vanilla nonfat latte. Mmm. And every single time, I would see the same people ordering venti Frappucinos WITH whipped cream. "Okay," I thought, "Maybe they are ALL on graveyard shift and this is dessert? Don't judge, don't judge...okay, I'm judgmental. I have to judge."

At Starbucks, adding whipped cream to ANY drink adds at least 100 calories. A venti caramel Frappucino is 530 calories with whipped cream. If those people would switch to even a tall caramel Frappucino with no whipped cream (assuming this is a weekly, not daily ritual), they would lose a pound in 11 weeks JUST by changing that behavior, assuming they held everything else constant.

I've been drinking more than one espresso drink lately. Law school encourages excessive coffee consumption. But I found out a very interesting secret: Starbucks has a SHORT coffee cup. They don't advertise it, but it is 8 ounces of deliciousness. That is 4 ounces less than the tall; granted, the calorie difference isn't a lot. But like the example above, it may be enough to add up to a loss. Also, I have learned that you can get an Americano with room, then add a bit of nonfat milk and cinnamon for a tasty, caffeinated treat (around 15-30 calories depending on the amount of milk you add).

The new goal for the rest of this month is to cut out coffee treats, for the sake of my wallet and my waistline. Since the ultimate goal is one latte a week, I think I can let it be a tall :)

A so-so kind of day

Evenings are such a minefield. I respond well to schedules and being busy. Being at home with nothing to do but chores, I tend to nosh mindlessly. But tonight, I stopped before too much damage was done.

Again, I couldn't manage to rouse myself to get up for more than a twenty-minute yoga workout this morning. Someone has suggested that I schedule my workouts and post them somewhere above my desk, just to try and jar my brain into thinking of this as a duty, not something I can beg off. I may do just that. I also need to come up with a better incentive structure. Being a bit of a cheapskate, it is hard for me to promise myself pedicures, clothes, shoes and vacations with any degree of sincerity. Where's that altruistic, anonymous benefactor who will bribe me towards fitness? Do such kindly souls exist? Would someone actually give me a trip to Greece to celebrate reaching my goals?

Hello? Anyone out there? Nah, didn't think so.

I am NOT a morning person

Today was another attempt and another miss at getting up early to exercise. After dragging myself home after a very long day, I spent most of my evening doing more research and reading, not noticing how quickly the time was going by. Now I'm irritated at myself for not working out today.

There is a nasty cold hitting my classmates. Having been sick a lot in the last six months, I only hope that my immune system is going to adopt a "been there, done that" attitude and bulldoze past it.

Now: I am going to bed early and getting up early to work out. Otherwise I'm going to have to buy this.

Habit-breaking, habit-forming

One of my goals this year is to become a morning exerciser. This quarter, this has been made more challenging with 9am classes. If I want to work out, shower, eat breakfast, and catch the bus in time to make it to the law school with a bit of breathing room, I either have to do a short workout (i.e., 20-minute yoga DVD) or get up REALLY early. This is made more complicated when my roommate, who gets up after me, is already using the shower when I get back from my workout.

But the real problem isn't the shower: I have the hardest time getting out of bed at 6am! I've been slowly trying to push back my wake-up time, but I have this unfortunate tendency of falling back asleep. Even putting my alarm across the room hasn't nipped this habit in the bud.

On the habit-forming side, I am having some success resurrecting an old, kind of weird habit: Pulling off pieces of food--like cheese from pizza or a quarter of a cookie--and throwing them in the trash before I can eat them. I know it's weird. But when I hit my first plateau two years ago, I started doing this at work and the scale started to budge again. It is best to do this only with snacks and treats.

At first, I was horrified at myself for "wasting" food by not finishing what I started to eat. We're all taught to clean our plates as children. (By the way, I think this is the worst thing that you can do as a parent. By all means, withhold dessert, but making your child eat past satiation sends the wrong signal. They learn not to listen to their bodies saying, "Hey, I'm full, you can stop eating now.) But then I realized that eating something I didn't need or want wasn't a waste--it was just another step towards a healthier, fitter body. So I'm going to continue to pick pieces of granola bar off of my snack and throw it away, pull cheese off of entrees at restaurants, and leave things on my dinner plate.

Muffin top at the bar

Nothing is worse than putting on one of your tighter, more revealing tops--the ones that are supposed to make you feel cute for a night out on the town--and noticing a wedge of fat hanging over your waistline where there wasn't one before. I'm heading back towards my healthier weight, but I am still lacking the muscle tone that I once had.

I think that my roommate is having similar issues because today our trip to the grocery store was extremely healthful in nature. We bought fish, lamb, tons of veggies, whole wheat pitas and nothing fattening or sugary in nature, except for some chocolate chips for a friend's birthday treat. Hopefully we can keep this up!

The pitas are for a curry chicken pita recipe I saw on CookingLight.com. I'm hoping that it will be as tasty as it looks!

Book review: 5-Factor Fitness by Harley Pasternak

Harley Pasternak has better credentials than most trainers out there. He has the celebrity clientele and a Master's in Exercise Physiology. He apparently has actually researched. But still, I don't know if I buy his philosophy. For one, he claims that you can be healthy only working out 25 minutes a day. Would that it were true!

I haven't entirely finished the book yet but I've scoffed repeatedly. I know that we're constantly learning more about the human body, but even the government has revised its recommendations for the amount physical exercise up, not down! Granted, it is the government but this is still contrary to everything I've ever heard outside of those ridiculous "tone your abs in five minutes a day!" commercials.

Mr. Pasternak holds up Halle Berry's transformation in Catwoman from hot to hotter as an example of what 25-minute workouts can do. Again, I'm skeptical: Halle Berry had to train in martial arts for her scenes, so I'm relatively sure that the shape of her body had something to do with the hours of capoeira she practiced as well as Mr. Pasternak's program.

Despite all this, perhaps I should suspend disbelief and try his program. I just can't believe that five minutes of cardio will keep my cardiovascular system in any kind of optimum health...

Yesterday's weigh-in

Starting weight, 06/2003: 175 lbs.
Last week's weigh-in, 03/15/2007: 149.6 lbs.
This week, 3/30/2007: 147.2 lbs.

I swear, being busy is the best way for me to lose weight. My kryptonite is snacking--no time to snack means losing weight!

Spring cleaning, with a side of Quinoa Caprese

I always get excited when spring starts popping up, and it's not just because we actually get more sunlight here in the Pacific NW. I get excited because I automatically eat better. I adore all the summer fruits; I love picking berries, and summer salads are the best! Olive oil and vinegar tastes good on everything, and everyone automatically feels skinnier anyway without all those bulky sweaters and coats, don't they?

In honor of the coming warm weather, I'm already breaking out my summer recipes. This one was originally in Shape magazine a while back. (In May 2006, I believe.) It's light and tasty. Quinoa is an amazing grain: it is chock-full of protein and pretty low on calories to boot. It works well as a substitute for couscous, bulgur, rice, etc, and it's pretty cheap to buy at Trader Joe's. (It can be incredibly expensive elsewhere, so be sure to comparison shop.) Equally important: WASH IT. You have to get the bitter coat off of it.

Quinoa Caprese
1 cup quinoa
14 oz. chicken or veggie broth
1 pint cherry tomatoes, halved
3 ounces fresh mozarella, diced (or the mozzarella balls, cut in half)
1 cup torn basil leaves2
1/2 tablespoons lemon juice1
1/4 tablespoon garlic oil (OR heat some olive oil with smashed garlic cloves in it for a few minutes)
salt and pepper

Rinse the quinoa thoroughly (IMPORTANT, especially if the quinoa isn't prewashed)
In a medium saucepan, bring the stock to a boil. Add the quinoa, reduce heat and simmer about 12-15 minutes until the liquid is absorbed. The quinoa should be tender. Transfer to a large bowl, let it cool down to room temperature.
Stir the cherry tomatoes, basil, and mozarella into the quinoa.
With a whisk or fork beat the lemon juice and oil together. Pour over the quinoa and toss well. Season to taste.

You can serve this over some spinach leaves; arugula would work, too. I like it without, too!

New sites

I found some new sites today. I've been using Fitday.com to track calories for some time, but just found out about these:

Calorie King: another calorie counting site
Fitness Jumpsite: a way to tell exactly how many calories you burn!
Calorie Lab: another website that does calorie counts
iVillage health calculators: calculate your BMI, etc

Oh, Vegas.

Oh, indeed. Vegas is all hustle and bustle, bright lights and spectacle. And it is also about eye-popping amounts and quality of food. I couldn't resist...at least not all the time.

Despite that, I feel much more relaxed and able to take on things now. Like so many other women, I turn to food when life feels difficult (or boring). It's a shame that, unlike men, women get fat when they're not content. Of course, I find it difficult to believe that all the very overweight and obese men I saw in Vegas this weekend are living deliriously happy lives.

I did manage to walk a lot, avoided mindless snacking, and shared my dessert. Sadly, sharing a piece of the creamiest NY-style cheesecake I've EVER had is still pretty bad...My post-vacation weigh-in tomorrow morning is likely not going to inspire smiles.

But things are looking up: I have new workout DVDs to try, courtesy of the library; the weather is slowly improving, making outside workouts compelling again; and I am ready to spend the rest of my vacation scouring my CookingLight cookbooks for tasty new recipes to try!

Incentives are important

Muffin top: 1) the tasty part of a muffin or 2) the extra bit of fat that rolls over the top of your pants, resembling the top of the muffin.

In the interest of getting myself back on track, I'm setting up a incentive structure.

For every week that I work out 5 times, I can treat myself to a latte.
If I stay within my calorie goals for 25 days of the month, I can buy a new CD or DVD.
For every 5 pounds I lose, I can purchase a new piece of workout clothing or equipment.
If I reach my goal weight, I can purchase this dress or something similar at Banana.

And the true incentive: a new swimsuit if I complete the Self Challenge in better shape than I started it!

Apple Harvest Oatmeal (tweaked)

1/2 cup quick-cooking oatmeal (NOT those packets of instant)
3/4 cup water
1/4-1/2 Tbs. butter
One medium apple, cored and diced
1/2 Tbs brown sugar
1/4 tsp. cinnamon
Dried cranberries, golden raisins, whatever is on hand

Melt the butter in a saucepan over medium heat.
Add the diced apple and cook until soft, about 2 minutes.
Add the cinnamon and brown sugar; cook until dissolved.
Add the water and cranberries/golden raisins; bring to light boil.
Add the oatmeal and cook for two minutes.
Remove from heat.

For extra protein, you can add almonds. I usually add a little bit of nonfat milk.

The SELF Challenge

Last year, I half-heartedly did the SELF Challenge. I was already in pretty good shape, despite my knees still rejecting my every attempt at running. This year, things are different. I started the Challenge with the best of intentions. Those intentions went quickly south when some family members had some issues and disappeared completely when I was hit with the flu.

Sometimes, life just does not cooperate with a girl on a mission.

Today, I have to study for my next (LONG, TORTUROUS) exam. But to prove to myself that my health is still a priority, I'm going to make time to work out today. I'll be doing at least 35 minutes of cardio AND the Self Challenge's strength workout.

I started out the morning with my favorite breakfast; well, my favorite breakfast that doesn't count waffles or french toast: Apple Harvest Oatmeal. I've tweaked this recipe to accomodate a single serving, and taken out a few items I don't have on hand. I'll post the tweaked recipe later.

Starting over, yet again

Three and a half years ago, I graduated from college. Like so many other college graduates, I was bewildered, confused, and overweight. Having been chubby for several years, I finally packed on about fifteen or twenty pounds during my senior year bringing my weight to somewhere over 170 pounds (from my best estimates, around 175). But I didn't know that then; I was so focused on my lack of a post-grad job that I didn't notice my weight creeping up until I tried on a pair of size 14-16 pants...and they were tight.

Unlike so many others, my weight loss journey didn't actually start there. There was never one moment when I decided, "This is the time." It sprung from a series of unintentional decisions and lucky situations. My new roommate (now known as ex-roomie) after graduation joined my gym; I started going more. She drank nonfat milk; I switched from 2%. She subscribed to Glamour; I started a subscription to Self. My dad sent me a BBQ.

That first summer, I lost about 7 pounds. Suddenly, things clicked: I was not destined to be overweight. I could be healthy! Ex-roomie started running, and I started--slowly--to jog a few minutes at a time with her.

The good things only continued: I found a job with a bunch of health-conscious men who provided valuable information gleaned from losing weight and starting running programs. They were always supportive and never judgmental. I signed up to run a 5k, and then starting training for a 10k. When I got below 150 pounds for the first time since my senior year of high school, I started to cry. While on the scale. At the gym. Needless to say, people were cutting some startled glances my way!

Of course, disaster struck: my knees developed "patellofemoral pain syndrome" or some such nonsense. I kept working out but I wasn't able to do the activity I had become addicted to; yet, I managed to keep off the 30 pounds I had lost. I was

When I left my job to head to law school, my weight was steady around 142 pounds. I bid a fond adieu to Ex-Roomie, packed up my things and found myself without a gym buddy, without a truly regular schedule, and with a stressful seven months ahead of me. I did alright at first. The exercise was the first to go, but I was so busy the first few weeks that I actually lost weight because I simply didn't have time to snack. I didn't feel great, energy-wise, but I thought, "Hey, I'll work out, eat on a regular schedule, and I'll be happy and healthy."

And then, I adjusted. And all that lovely muscle shrunk, taken over by more and more padding. I sunk back into the habit of eating when I was bored, of not eating healthy portions, of relying on sweets when I was in a bad mood.

I have two finals left before this quarter ends, and I have gained back the weight I lost at the beginning of fall quarter, plus five pounds. It sounds so ridiculous: five pounds. But what matters is NOT the weight: it's how I feel. I am tired and stressed out, and I'm not making healthy choices. I have high cholesterol; even when I lost the 30 pounds, my levels were too high. My family has a history of diabetes and high blood pressure.

I am starting this blog because, yes, I don't want to regain those 30 pounds (for one thing, losing and regaining weight is as bad if not worse than not losing weight at all). But it's about more than that: it's about being stressed out and still making healthy decisions.

I'm making a (semi-)public declaration here: I'm getting back on track. Starting right now.